DJ FOODCOURT is playing records with DJ Chuffington (Kelley Stoltz, Sub Poprecords recording artist) and DJ Spiral Stairs (supposedly in a new band called Pavement on a label called Matador), this Thursday, Rocktober 1st at the Make Out Room. Festivities begin at 9pm and it is free with complimentary grilled cheese from George Foremans grill. There will also be surprise guests and shit.
We will be playing tons of good rock and -Alright I gotta get something off of my chest first. While recently shopping for FOODCOURT supplies at my local Smart and Final (never really understood the marketing behind this discount supermarket. Are you “smart” because you shop there? Will this be your “final” meal? I don't get it. however I do know this: Its filled with fucktards), I experienced a life changing experience. Heres what happened:
As I was coming out of the bread aisle and into the candy/sweets section I looked up at the end of the aisle and I spotted two small latino children sitting on the floor, their hands clearly in an open jar of something. As I approached with caution (never take chances with strangers in a Smart and Final) and a small amount of trail mix in my hand (in case they weren't docile), I realized that the jar they had assaulted was filled with pickled pigs feet. Thats right. They were sitting in the middle of the aisle dipping their filthy little hands into the makes-no-sense delicacy of pickled pigs feet. Not to mention a Costco sized jar of 'em at that. (Note: Before you accuse me of racist sentiments, I used the word “filthy” because they literally were covered head to toe in dirt, not because they come from a filthy place where they don't speak english or respect our forced policies. So there.)
Now, this got me thinking. Is this what America has come to that our candy section is now cross pollinating with the International foods section? There is nothing more American then the candy aisle, and I could really give a fuck about the health care debate when we are losing the war in our supermarkets. I really don't need to be high and jonesing for a Starbursts, but instead reach for Cat Butthole or DogKnots (the pre-packaged dog testicles that are quite popular in Korea), because that is their idea of candy. This is an issue that there is no debating.
The candy aisle is sacred ground. The candy section is where you were awarded a treat for being good and sitting in the cart and not touching every fucking thing that came your way while shopping with your mom or dad. It was reward for a job well done. The candy section was filled with brightly colored presents that captivated the imagination and sent you into a sugary nirvana. The candy section is NOT supposed to feature things that have the color of a science experiment and smell of death. And now thanks to Smart and Final that section brings confusion and terror for old and young alike.There is something inherently evil and wrong about this, and a large piece of my childhood died that day in that aisle, crushed and swallowed in their disgusting pig soaked hands. As I turned to look back at the aisle after paying for my supplies, I noticed a lone indian with a single tear streaming down his cheek. He understood the America we live in today....
DJ FOODCOURT with Kelley Stoltz, Spiral Stairs and Surprise MUCH Older Guest. Thursday October 1st 9pm The Make Out Room San Francisco.
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I've recently hired a design firm out of the Castro to make me some FOODCOURT flyers. Here is a small sample of what they came up with...
Flyer #1: I asked that they convey the brotherhood of three friends spinning records together:
I have some problems with the overall concept...Although Spirals likeness is remarkable.
Flyer2: I wanted them to convey three distinct individuals "passionate about their musical styles":
They are getting warmer...
Flyer3: In terms of musical knowledge, I asked for something that showed my stature in comparison to those of my peers, and my love for Diane Arbus:
Getting closer...
Flyer4: I asked for something that was "retarded" which is a street term for "crazy" or "cool":
I take offense at the term "Octarded", but I think they nailed it.
Love, DJ FOODCOURT. Pass it on.
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