7/2/08

My Fellow Americans,

This Thursday, July 3rd, DJ FOODCOURT and his Patri-alcoholic Pals will be spinning records at San Francisco's Make Out Room (for FREE!), beginning at 9pm. This is a very special 4th of July for our nation because it marks the last time George Bush will be in office to shit all over it.

I realize that this is another amazing, selfless gift in a long line of gifts that Mr. FOODCOURT has given his adoring public over the past year, but what makes this gift more special you may ask? Behold the wonders listed after each of these intriguing formatting bullets:

• Hear DJ Fast Eddy (DJ WOODENTEETH) spin amazing records AND yarns from his storied past when he first witnessed the signing of the Decloration of Independence.
• See DJ FOODCOURT actually gain weight during his incredibly rocking patriotic set.
• Taste DJ E Wrecks soulfulness as he plays golden wax nuggets spanning our nations history and feel his indifference to all that approach him.
• Witness DJ Hankster the Prankster (Henry Wimmer) pull out such obscure records that would be sure to make the kids who work at Aquarius' heads explode.

Per usual there will be free grilled cheese courtesy of George Foreman. However instead of grilled cheese, there will be grilled hot dogs. Vegetarians can eat a booger for America on this special day because I'm pretty sure that our founding fathers all ate hot dogs for every meal.

Have you ever seen how fat Ben Franklin was? That aint fucking Rainbow Grocery my friends....

I'm almost positive that Friday is a holiday so let your lapel flag pins fly and come on down. This land is your land, this land is my land, so lets get loaded and celebrate like ugly Americans.

God Bless Us All.

DJ FOODCOURT

PS: Dont be a Hancock and please pass this on...